There are so many different opinions and advice articles and everything on this and I don’t know what to believe anymore. I’m hoping you can help me…
What’s the best way to win a man’s heart?
~ Romantic Rosie in Reno
Katy, today’s Dear Ellie columnist, has some advice for you:
Dear Searching for Love,
We have a Mascara Mantra that actually fits this question kind of perfectly. It is this:
I am attracting the love I dream of and deserve.
Just take a deep breath and repeat that mantra to yourself. I am attracting the love I dream of and deserve. There are two parts to this mantra. Attracting and deserving. And I think both are crucial to answering your question. While I do not have a one-size-fits-all answer to winning every man’s heart, I do have an answer for you that’ll help you win the heart of the man that is meant for you. Your true person. Let’s dive in.
I think a lot of times as women, we associate “attracting” with physical appearance. But, attracting the right man for you is so much more than the physical. It’s emotional. It’s soul deep. It’s him seeing every flaw and experience you’ve had, knowing your mistakes and past, and still saying, “Yes. I want you, and everything that comes with it.”
But how do we get there? How do we get to that place where we connect with someone so deeply, unafraid to share our life experiences?
It starts in you. I know, how cheesy does that sound? But girl, it’s the truth. Attracting the right man for you, the one that is going to accept and love every bit of you, starts with you! It starts with you being yourself. Your whole, complete, amazing self. Don’t hide the things that make you… you. Because those are the things that will attract the man you’re dreaming of. If you try to pretend to be someone else, someone you think a man will like, you’ll attract a man that likes the person you’re trying to be. But he won’t really know you.
So, be your true self. Be a whole, complete person. I think a lot of times we can get ourselves into a mess of a relationship when we depend on the other person to complete us. That just puts so much unnecessary pressure on your partner. We can’t possibly know what each other needs every second of the day. Instead, complete yourself. Be your own individual you. Your partner should likewise do the same. He is himself, you are yourself, and together you can build a beautiful, amazing relationship, free of the pressures to make each other complete and happy.
Okay, so let’s talk about the second part now. Deserving. Girl. You are deserving of the most amazing man. Think of your dream man right now. Imagine how he speaks to you, how kind he is. How he loves and supports you and your family. You are a precious gift, and he better treat you like it. If you go on a date with a man and he’s not treating you like the queen you are, then he’s just not the one. I speak from experience here. The man meant for you will recognize how priceless you are and will treat you like it! Do not settle. You are worth it. You deserve it.
I know how frustrating it can feel, waiting on the right man for you. My now husband and I were friends for 20 years before he asked me out. Talk about a long time waiting! But listen, it’s so worth it. And I am so, so glad that I didn’t settle for less. I knew what I wanted and how I wanted to be treated, so I kept living my life, happy and confident and independent, until I found the man I wanted to share my happy life with.
And, let me just say, there’s nothing at all wrong with going on lots of dates. Get out there, girl. Find what you like, what you don’t like. You’ll learn so much more about yourself, and what you like in a partner.
Be your confident, amazing, strong self. That is my biggest piece of advice for you. The best way to win a man’s heart, the man that is meant for you? Be you! Because you want a man that loves you for you. Keep your hopes high, never settle. And as you wait, enjoy life right where you’re at. Go out with your girls, be with family, have a self-care night just for you. I promise, the wait is worth it.
You go girl.
You are attracting the love you dream of and deserve!
Katy + Ellie