Q: How can I feel more confident on social media?

1 min


What do you get when you mix filters with reality?

In today’s question we take a look at how to remember that your reality is perfectly you.

Dear Ellie,

I feel like I see so many confident people on social media, and wish I could be more like that.

How do I get there?

~ Missing selfie-confidence in Seattle

Kay, today’s Dear Ellie columnist, has just the pep-talk we all need:

Hey Missy Missing,

Believe me when I say: You are most certainly NOT alone.

Social media, especially in the 20’s, has become plagued with everyone’s best foot forward, and oftentimes that best foot is facetuned, photoshopped, and completely falsified. Not to mention, it’s the one selected image out of MANY bad images that was chosen.

So, first step is to put your rational hat on and remember that anytime you start comparing.

I know it’s hard, but trust me.

Maybe even say out loud “social media isn’t real life” every time those negative thoughts come to you.

Now, let’s focus on confidence.

You’re noticing it in others, but not in yourself.

My heart goes out to you, I know how hurtful it can feel to look at yourself and not see the greatness you are bringing the world by simply being you.

Others can see it, but you’re still working on it. And you’ll get there!

Take a moment and write down 5 things that make you uniquely you.

Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Now, read those out loud to yourself. These are your new mantras.

Say them when you don’t feel them, ESPECIALLY when you don’t feel them.

Say them in the car, in front of the mirror, while you’re trying on jeans and feeling like a turd. You’ll start believing it!

Go get ’em, gorgeous girl.

Hugs + Lashes,

Ellie + Kay


Kay Transtrum

Kay is a creative marketing junkie, hiking and kayaking junkie, and band geek. Helping others feel seen and heard, and to know that they are truly not alone in their journey, is Kay's mission in life.

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