Dating can be very hard. Even before it migrates into cyberspace. But online dating is a whole other beast. Keep reading for all the tips and tricks to virtual/online dating! 💖
My name is Stephania Cruz. I am a relationship expert and an author for datingpilot.com, a website dedicated to providing our readers with effective dating tips and accurate dating site reviews.
My background is in psychology and I have previously worked with people to help them build positive and healthy relationships with their family and romantic partners.
In my experience reviewing dating sites, I have come to discover that there is a dating site for every type of niche or interest a person can have. Although, it is great to have many options available to you, it is also very overwhelming. For this reason, my first tip is to know exactly what you are looking for before you begin your online dating journey.
What Are You Looking For With Online Dating?
This means knowing what type of relationship you want. Do you want a serious long-term relationship or a casual one? This also means being aware of your deal breakers to help you narrow down dating sites and eventually matches. is religion, education, kids, etc. important to you? These kinds of questions will help pinpoint what you are looking for.
Once you know exactly what you are looking for, you can begin searching for the right dating site(s). Dating site reviews can be very helpful in depicting a realistic picture of what to expect, which can facilitate the process of selecting the right dating site(s). Do you want a niche-specific dating site or a general one? Would you care if the site has a matchmaking algorithm? Do you want to pay a monthly fee or do you want a free service? Knowing what you want out of your dating site provider will also help you narrow down the right site.
Once you have selected a dating site, it is important to be truthful about what type of relationship you are seeking and who you are. This information can also help the right matches find you. However, you never want to reveal personal information as doing so can make you a target for fraudulent users.
This brings me to my next tip, which is to be mindful of scammers. Unfortunately, online dating scammers are real and there have been victims of such scams. For this reason, never reveal personal information and familiarize yourself with the typical behaviors that scammers engage in to minimize any chance of being a victim.
Karen Donaldson – @therealkarendonaldson
CONFIDENCE + PUBLIC SPEAKING COACH
Face To Face Video Etiquette For The New Wave Of Online Dating
Here is how to make a great first impression even before you say a word.
You have the opportunity to do so with your overall appearance and YES first impressions do matter. Especially when this is the only option to meet new people (at this time).
Appearance And Attire
Wear something that makes you feel good, because it will also put you in the right frame of mind for the conversation. How you dress can drive your ability to show up confidently. How you dress not only impacts how others perceive you, it also impacts how you perceive yourself. Think of the last time you dressed up to go to a wedding or formal fundraiser…recall how wonderful you felt and acted when you were all dressed up.
Stay away from showing too much skin, “if” that’s not how you would normally show up. Think; “great” first impression. our minds manage 30-50 thoughts per minute and within a single minute we make a number of judgements about the person we are looking at.
Having Quality Conversations Online
What to do:
Keep things fun and light. This is not an interview for marriage next week.
Focus on getting to know the person. Ask questions about their likes, dislikes, hobbies, perspectives on different things. You can ask about family, however, be prepared to abort the subject if the person seems uncomfortable when answering. Not everyone wants to talk about their family.
Use the other persons name often since it showcases that you’re attentive to them and it helps to build rapport quickly.
Stay visually tuned in to the person you’re speaking to. Be aware and attentive and look for various cues to start or enhance your conversation. i.e. If the person is wearing a necklace with an initial on it, ask them about it, if they’re wearing a sports jersey, ask if they’re a big fan.
Don’t fear moments of silence. However, be prepared for moments of silence. Have some key questions ready to ask the other person, in case there are moments of silence.
Be yourself and be honest, people can usually tell when someone is lying or enhancing a story. Worse, you don’t want the other person to get to know the “fake” you.
Easy Conversation Starters:
-Compliment people. People love being complimented and it’s a great way to start a conversation because you just made them feel good. But stick to simple things like their clothes, accessories so you don’t come off as a creep. Stay away from words like “sexy” or “hot”. Also, make sure the compliment is genuine or keep it to yourself.
-“What was the best part of your day today?” This shows that you’re genuinely interested in how their day was and starts the conversation on a positive note.
-“What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?”
-“When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?”
-“I really love [insert activity here], have you ever tried it?”
General Flirtatious Body Language Cues For Online Dating
Pupil Dilation.
When you see someone you’re attracted to, your eyes give you away. That’s because your pupils dilate when we see something that’s visually stimulating or something that we like.
Fast Blinking.
Blinking is a natural human function, however the speed that a person blinks is very telling. Blinking slowly is a sign of disinterest (recall yourself trying to stay awake when you’re tired). Fast blinking is a sign of stress, but potentially good stress; excitement or nervousness.
Sweating.
Perspiration is good indications that a persons nerves are in over drive. Nerves are usually in over drive when there’s a physical attraction.
Mirroring.
It’s the act of mimicking or mirroring another persons movements. This is done to quickly build rapport and bond. If you want someone to “like” you, calmly mirror their movements. Make sure to not mirror movements right away, other wise you’ll look awkward and draw the wrong type of attention to yourself.
Blushing.
When a guy or girl blushes, this is a simple uncontrollable physical reaction to an excited emotional state.
We’re in a worldwide pandemic situation. Interaction between humans? Bad idea. Very, very bad idea!
“Modern problems require modern solutions.”
So you put yourself out there in virtual dating. It sounds so normal now. Just like that. Online dating.
There are plenty of apps out there in which you can hop on to online dating. In fact, it is quite easy to put yourself out there and meet amazing people that are probably lonely, just like you.
As the good guy friend that I am, I’m going to share some tips with you when it comes to online dating.
1. Safety First
I know that online dating is a fun/nice/interesting topic. But if you want to keep it that way, safety-first ladies and gentlemen! Be careful with who you share certain information about yourself. Make sure that the person you’re texting with is actually the person in the pictures/the same person described to you.
2. Have Fun
Explore, meet new people. Put yourself out there, enjoy the experience. We’re all humans in the core, but we’re so different from each other in the details. Enjoy exploring from the comfort of your home. Which is actually a good thing.
3. You Do You
That’s right, be yourself. I know, you’re tired of hearing and reading this. But since we’re hiding behind a screen (at least for now), we tend to mix it up a bit with those personalities.
Simply embrace the energy that you give through your behavior, looks, and whatnot.
This also means – don’t overload your pictures with filters, and don’t, DO NOT copy-paste lines during conversations. Speak your own mind, even if your opinion is very different. That’s the beauty of it, right? Diversity.
4. Video Calls
You should have at least one video call before going out for realsies!
First. If they’re pretending to be someone else, a video call will be a good detector.
Second. It’s a virtual date, make it fun, get creative! You’re trying, and you’ve got nothing to lose. So go ahead and knock yourself out. Watch a movie together while face timing, cook dinner, have dinner ‘together’. Go for it!
Third. Make sure you look nice. Like dress up nicely, check the lighting, the colors of your clothes, you hair, DO NOT FORGET THE HAIR!
Lastly. What’s the point of looking nice and not feeling comfortable? That’s right, there is no point. So fix your place, or do whatever you have to do to feel yourself and comfortable during the video call (not only during the video call though).
5. Give Yourself The Time You Need
Whether you had a online date and it didn’t go well or you’re still thinking if you should go for it or not: take your time.
Listen to yourself, take your time, and finally…
Find that modern solution to that modern problem, girl!
I am a “recovering lawyer” who works as a product manager for a legal tech startup by day and hustles to launch Blink, a virtual blind speed dating app, by night.
I came up with the concept for Blink back in 2012, after I ate at a blackout restaurant and befriended a couple we dined with. It was incredible to realize how much more open and vulnerable we were willing to be while we were just voices in the dark. There’s so much power to connecting with someone when you aren’t subconsciously making conclusions about who they are based on what they look like…or worrying about what they might be thinking about you based on what you look like.
I’m so excited by the idea of sharing online dating tips – it can be such a stressful process, but can be enjoyable and successful if done right!
In’s And Out’s Of Online Dating
We know times are trying and so is the dating world. However, some of these tips for virtual/online dating may make things a little easier for everyone. Good luck in the virtual world and let us know how it works out!
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